A friend's roommate is out of the country for work. While he was gone, John Kerry sent him a letter. Thinking this might be important, the roommate thought he'd check it out. Here's the email he sent to his traveling roommate describing the contents:
Evans - Imagine my surprise when I arrived home this weekend, got the mail, and found that you received a letter from John Kerry. I was amazed he had taken time out of his busy schedule to write, what with him campaigning and pointing out all the problems with the America. But I digress.
Normally I wouldn't open your mail, but I thought that if he was writing to say he was stopping by I wanted to know so I could clean up a bit. After reading his correspondence (again, I apologize for my indiscretion), it seems he simply wanted to contact you to plead for some money. I had read where he was born into wealth, and also married into a condiments fortune, but evidently $900 million doesn't go as far as it used to.
His letter was fairly bleak and pointed out numerous problems with the US. I never realized what dire straits our country was in. And at times some of the statements seemed to take liberty with the facts, or stretch common sense. It would have almost been entertaining if not for the evidently serious tone of the letter.
Since you won't have a chance to read this letter for a few months, I will excerpt some key points for you. All excerpts are within double quotes.
"This administration put more pollution into the air and call their plan 'Clear Skies'. They chop down more trees and call the plan 'Health Forests'." - Well, yes, I suppose Sen. Kerry is referring to President Bush's habit of cutting brush at his Texas ranch. However, I don't recall the rest of "this administration" cutting down trees. I would think VP Cheney would be expressly forbidden from doing so by his doctor, what with his heart problems and all.
"We need to guarantee equal rights and civil rights....(I assure you, my editing is for brevity and does not impact the context of these statements)....and justice belongs to everyone regardless of race, gender, or sexual orientation." - I agree with Sen. Kerry. Of course, these equal rights are guaranteed by the Constitution (including amendments). So if I understand correctly, he is saying we need to guarantee things that are already guaranteed by the highest law of the land? I suppose that will be a popular stance. Perhaps he can also come out in favor of freedom of religion, the right for people to congregate in public, and protection from being forced to quarter soldiers in private homes.
"I believe that every child in America should be provided with the resources and the support necessary to compete in today's global economy." - Well, I agree with this. But what to do about it? Hmmm. Wait, Sen. Kerry has an idea! "I will fully fund education in America....and ensure that our children get a quality education". Well, there it is. The answer to the education problem. At least the answer isn't in the form of vague generalities. And some cynics say that Sen. Kerry doesn't have a specific or actionable plan for anything.
"...this president unilaterally rushed our nation to war...". Well yes, it was fairly unilateral. If you don't count the 90+ senators who voted for the resolution. Or the 400+ representatives who supported it. Or the vast majority of U.S. citizens who were in agreement at the time. Or the 15+ freely elected nations who joined with us in the liberation of Iraq. Or all the intelligence experts from numerous nations who agreed that Iraq had WMD. In fact, I believe Mr. Kerry supported the war. Well, he did, but then he didn't. But then he clarified that he first did, but then didn't, but supports the troops, just not the war. Oh, never mind.
"This is a president whose answer to every problem under the sun is another unaffordable, ineffective, massive tax giveaway to only the wealthiest people." - After reading this I was quite confused. Not by the verbiage, but where to begin with this statement. I thought about starting with "unaffordable" (to who, the Congress who sets the appropriations, Senator Kerry?), or perhaps "ineffective" (some would say that money in the hands of consumers more of a stimulant to the economy than gov't spending, but what do all those PhDs in Economics know?), but settled on two items that particularly intrigued me.
1. "Tax giveaway". Is this an intended oxymoron? Tax giveaway?!? Umm, I believe taxes are collected from us. A giveaway would be if the auto dealer up the street gave me a car. Giving me back money I paid for services that were never provided is not a giveaway (refund might be a better term).
2. "...to only the wealthiest people". Hmmm. I believe my parents got a refund last year. I never realized they were "wealthy". They don't have a summer home, unless you count them spending more time in the basement because it is cooler there. They don't have a vacation destination - it's sort of unnecessary when you don't take vacations. And I've never seen them deciding what yacht to buy, or rolling around on the floor in all their riches, perhaps because they are WORKING all the time. Maybe that is how they became so wealthy.
I was particularly intrigued by Senator Kerry's health care plan: "I have a plan to .... cover the uninsured by allowing every American to buy into the same health care plan that members of Congress give themselves." Brilliant!! I'm sure the level of health care provided to members of Congress isn't outrageously expensive. It probably doesn't cost much to have military surgeons provide on demand 24x7 health care for people. I wonder if the reason the health care plans provided to members of Congress are so 'reasonable' is because they are heavily subsidized by taxpayers? And next, Sen. Kerry, we can eliminate crime by having every citizen receive Secret Service protection.
Well that's about enough for now. I am glad your pen pal Sen. Kerry has such a solid plan for the US. You should write him back. I'm sure that he would be surprised you have been able to overcome all the problems in America to become a functioning member of society, one with an education, a job, and enough self-responsibility to make your own way in the world.
Sincerely,
Keeg